Cake & Candle for Myself

I turned 22 yesterday. Nothing special about it and i was rather sad and alone.

I went to my sister’s grave that Sunday morning after quite some times. 8 years has passed since I last saw her in February 1999. I can still recall the event when father called to say that she’s gone forever. And so now my family is incomplete. I AM INCOMPLETE. The memory of her will remain until my last breath. At this very moment I’m writing this, I keep refreshing her face. The time when she was 7 or 8, growing tall by the time she was 12 and finally when she reached 17. It was 8 months before her 17th birthday when she leaves this world.

Thinking back about my life, not much had changed. Still struggling with my studies. It’s very tough I would say. I’m still struggling to find my true self. I’m going through a plain life. Not much I can tell.

Alone

From childhood’s hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Then – in my childhood, in the dawn

Of a most stormy life – was drawn

From every depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still:

From the torrent, or the fountain,

From the red cliff of the mountain,

From the sun that round me rolled

In its autumn tint of gold,

From the lightning in the sky

As it passed me flying by,

From the thunder and the storm,

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view.

***

To all my friends, thanks for the birthday wishes. Thank you for remembering. May our lives be blessed by God, always.

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